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Untitled.I feel like I’m becoming more “me” than I used to be—
Before, I was afraid of “me”,
So I would just say
“I don’t know who I am” –
Or maybe I really didn’t know…
And this is my journey to self-discovery?
Maybe I’m just putting together pieces of people
I know I like…
Whatever it is that I’m doing…
I think I like who it’s allowing me to become.
BulletproofI’d like to think that I am
But the truth is,
I’m simply a glass
For different reasons altogether.
The Season Before The SnowBillowing
through the curtains, the wind tried to whisper to her. Secrets she
needed to hear, secrets that scared her. She turned her head away, and
the whispers feel on deaf ears. Vengeance - the chilling fingers
grasped her skin, to the bone she shivered. Fear creeping in through
every pore, stealing her bravado, steeling her blood.
She turned back to see the spirits mocking her false courage, enticing her with
the secrets she longed to fear. Amber spells at their fingertips and
shriveled curses at their command - theirs was the season of curses,
the season of death.
Before this, before tonight she was someone else.
Never had the thought crossed her mind that this season could be
anything but pain. But everything changed the night she saw him. In the
cluster of fall spirits - everything changed the moment she began to
listen. She had never given any thought to the season before the
Burn OutSometimes I think you’re like a hot coal
If I try to remove you from my life
I get burned,
And if I try to cover you up,
You just burn a deeper hole into my heart.
I can’t walk away with these scars.
You don’t have to take care of the flames
But will you at least sweep away the ashes?
"Loving Love"The heart beats faster,
Breath is determined not to be caught.
Let loose the butterflies!
I felt invincible, incredible,
I knew what I was feeling, too:
It was love.
I felt safe around you --
I wanted to let myself be vulnerable.
I could only think of how we could become closer.
You allowed me to feel this way.
I loved those feelings.
And because you gave them to me,
I thought I loved you.
I was wrong.
They were feelings,
And you are a person.
It took me far too long, but now I realize:
People can give us feelings
And feelings can lead us to people,
But, in the end, the two are not the same.
How's that for 'being in love with love'?
AutumnOn covered heads
Lips cherry red
Orange wings being to fall.
From age-worn hands
Anchored on land,
Caressed by wind, given nature’s all.
Once forest green,
Now tempest red
With flurries of orange and yellow.
Fall as angels
And demons alike,
The trees weep as they go.
Yes, the trees weep,
Didn’t you know?
"Isn't It Fun To Pretend?"
To say to you all the things that I’ve been thinking,
All the while that I’ve been thinking,
Would be to say all the things
I’ve been thinking I couldn’t say.
While, all the while,
All it required
Was for me to stop thinking
To be the person I’ve pretended to be
Would be pretending to pretend
That I am no longer pretending
And that, with the end of my pretense,
We would become
What others are pretending to be,
And that which we pretended didn’t matter.
While all the while
Our pretense was more real than
We were or could ever be.
To hear you say the words that you’ve been saying-
That you have all the while been saying-
Would be to hear all the words
I’ve been hearing
Even when you haven’t been saying them.
Because all the while
I knew I required you
And all the while you lied
And I was thinking,
‘Isn’t it fun to pretend?’
I AmI am single,
but I am loved.
I am not a genius,
but I am intelligent.
I am not breathtaking,
but I have beauty.
I am not a saint,
but I am kind.
To the world,
I am not perfect.
But for someone,
All Her Little ThingsStop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from..
Stop demanding her to do things,
Things she can't accomplish,
Things she can't imagine being done...
Stop lying to her,
Telling her you love her,
Want her, need her...
When all you've ever done is make her want to
Stop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from...
When those little things you've done
Take her down...
The little things won't matter anymore.
Don't pick a fight with an Artist
Don't pick a fight with an artist
Wanna fight pussy?
Give me yar best shot
Or will you throw a paintbrush at me?
I'm so scared- not
Excuse me? What did you say?
What is a punch you ask?
Of course let me tell you:
A blow with the fist- it's quite a simple task
Are y' gonna cwyyy?
I dunno what you just said
Why don't you let me show you?
I'll f****** punch you and then- boom- you're dead!?
Pardon? What did you ask?
You need a clearer definition?
Of course, let me show you
I'll demonstrate- with out your permission
Ouch! Hey no fair
Dude you are so gay
You write poetry
I'll make you f****** pay!
Discúlpeme? What did you mutter?
I'm gay? Is that what you said?
Perhaps you need some assistance, let me help
I'll be gentle I promise- I did need new ink! In the colour red<
lung canceri will die with your name on my lips
because there is nothing else i'll need to say.
you are my coffin, my funeral pyre.
as my bones disintegrate, popping and snapping,
you will greedily swallow my ashes
until nothing is left of me but secondhand smoke.
i've danced with you, love, across hospital tile,
the scent of antiseptic cloying as valentine's chocolate.
you dipped me into unconsciousness,
and i willingly closed my eyes.
the intrusion of your scalpel teeth no longer scares me.
you, my rigor mortis soul mate, always take me under.
your tent of frostbitten shelter pulls me down, an anchor,
while i gag on pills too abstract to save me.
forgive me, lungs, of my cigarette abuse,
but i've found happiness in a reaper's cloak.
i find comfort in these carcinogens.
i've made my nest in a swaying tree,
my body destroyed by the nauseous rocking.
they smile at me with pity in their eyes,
scribbling nonsense on those jaw-like clipboards.
their crisp, stark white world still has faith in me,
you've been dead for a year, my deari met you on december 21st,
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.
holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.
You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't th
Mirror, MirrorMirror, mirror, on the wall,
Watch it crumble, break and fall.
Look at all the bloody glass,
How it reminds them of a severed past.
Watch a reflection slowly disappear,
Looking at all the shattered, crushed mirrors.
A breathless state of mind goes by,
Am I just alive or did I die?
Confused and in an awe,
Careless people unknown to what one saw.
Throat slit so one can't be unlocked,
Too bad the thoughts have become blocked.
Crimson splatters, dripping, breaking away,
Thou shall not know the feeling of all the pain.
Oh, Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Why did you crumble, break and fall?
Eye of the StormI believed I could make the wind blow,
and force the moon to shine at night,
create rainbows just by thinking,
and hold tea parties for fairies in July,
I was the queen of my own graceful lands.
Yet, I grew old and realized,
I am the kind of girl who'd trip and fall,
often for stepping on her own feet.
My crown of diamond and gold
now a rusted piece of bronze,
I lost my throne to treason, my kingdom to hate,
I became the eye of a hurricane,
loaded with mishaps I need to atone.
I felt the soft touches of angels,
and lost my own wings to demons who could crush stone.
Felt the scorching tears run so often,
I knew I must have hit bottom low.
I had nothing holy, no one to call dear,
but here I am, the starting point of my own storm.
I felt fear, clung to shadows,
encased my heart within marble walls,
and threw the keys that can unlock my soul.
So many chances I've lost with no love to seek,
and so many people I turned my back to.
I let the darkness gnaw through my bones.
A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
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